


Four seasons of You and Me

by orphan_account



Category: Gintama
Genre: M/M, it is a shippy fic, let's do this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-08
Updated: 2016-09-01
Packaged: 2018-08-07 11:59:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,294
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7714054
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The ups and downs of a bond. The embraces and the sad good-byes. The story of a man who had to fight in another world, and the man who stayed behind to catch him so there would be a home to come back to.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. About laughing and the law of attraction

**Author's Note:**

  * For [jackopancake](https://archiveofourown.org/users/jackopancake/gifts).



> Phew! This is late.  
> First, Gintama belongs to Sorachi-sensei. I just borrowed the story and characters for this.
> 
> I hope you like this! I played with canon a little bit, but I was not strict about following it.  
> It is always interesting to write SakaGin!
> 
> This is not revised, and English is not my native language, so I'm sorry about the potential grammatical mistakes this might have.
> 
> Thank you so much for reading this!! If you like it (or not), feel free to leave kudos or, even better, comments! Comments always make my day.

The night outside is calm yet cold. Not a single soul dares to wander, the only sound around the coast being the cheerful cries from a drunken celebration. Soft light radiating from the walls of and improvised shelter, soldiers tired from life and war drink and sing, thanking the chance to have a sip of sake for just another night. The clash of old recipients with liquid inside, an out-of-tune cheer and a warm building– the only things far away from the impact of steel and the taste of iron.

 

It is a common occurrence that the four most outstanding generals of the campaign drink by separate. Two years before, they had been three. Nonetheless, if anyone would think Sakamoto Tatsuma doesn't deserve his spot among them that person would be mistaken: Sakamoto is giving them tools, such as weapons, money and food. In a fundamental way, the man has gone from being a spoiled merchant from a rich family to a respected warrior who is one of the pillars for their war.

 

And not just a pillar of war, but of celebrations as well.

 

“Hahahaha! What's wrong, Takasugi? Drink more, more!” The Dragon of Katsurahama encourages one of his partners with an everlasting optimist voice.

 

“Tatsuma, how the fuck do you have this much resistance to alcohol?” Takasugi Shinsuke places a hand on his forehead, feeling a weight on his stomach not likely to be lifted until the next morning. Perhaps he will die before it happens, perhaps not. He decides to leave it at chance. The weight becomes more difficult to bear when a certain man with unruly hair laughs, making fun of his poor performance.

 

“Stop whining, Takasugi. Tatsuma is not the only one who can bear more sake than you do. Hell, even a baby could drink more than this.” Says Gintoki, more drunk than rational, his body falling a little to the side before regaining extra strength.

 

“Oi, what are you implying? If I recall well, you have drunk less than me. Isn't that right?”

 

Gintoki and Takasugi stare at each other fiercely, faces centimeter apart from each other.

 

“Oi, what are you implying? I'm just saving my strength for the rest of the evening. Look well! I will drink the last drop of this bottle right here!” Gintoki announces, taking a bottle with his hand.

 

“Interesting,” Takasugi smiles, taking another bottle, “let's see who will be the winner of this duel between us. 150 wins, 149 loses.”

 

They stare at each other a little more, and take their respective bottles to their mouths.

 

Takasugi doesn't even flinch. He drinks another half of a bottle, to his comrades' surprise. He doesn't hear Katsura's warnings, or Sakamoto's louder laughter. Not too much later, the man is on the floor, unable to move. It turns out Gintoki is laughing at the same frequency Sakamoto is because he didn't drink a single gulp. Katsura kicks his side, delicate, just to know if the man is still alive. He sighs.

 

“Hey, stop laughing!” Katsura scolds his friends. All right. I think it is time to rest for us as well. Sakamoto, Gintoki, let's go,” commands the most composed of the four as he takes a fainted Takasugi by the arm and starts walking to a quieter space.

 

There is a moment of silence, and the two men remaining look at each other. Both of them are blushing, one more than the other thanks to the amount of alcohol in his system. It is not the only reason.

 

“Hey, Tatsuma. I don't feel like going to sleep yet, and you?”

 

“Hehehehe, me neither. Takasugi passing out like that cheered me up. Having a good drink with comrades certainly makes you forget about the pain of the day.”

 

Gintoki brushes his hair with energy, lowering his gaze. An awkward silence appears between both men, which he uses to realize how tired his legs and arms are. Thanks to their drinks, his shoulders and head couldn't be any more relaxed, but he knows it is noting more than a passing sensation. The dread and instinct to survive will come back haunting them as soon as the Sun comes out and paints the land with warm colors, which mixed well with the crimson staining their clothes. The sunlight is an excellent flag for their campaign, but he wishes he could relate said picture with a more optimistic reality.

 

They lost at least fifteen members of their group to opposite forces during the day. The are already used to it and it is a miracle. It is a miracle that they managed to find a good shelter, when in other times they must resist in the strict winter, it is a miracle that the other guys remain cheerful and still believing in what Zura and Takasugi would call “the cause”, while Gintoki had lost that part of himself several months ago. He's not sure anymore. The prospective future of them finding their master and getting out of the war without losing their lives –or even, their souls – in the process first seems far in his eyes.

 

And yet there it is; the smiles and the laughter besides him. Blue eyes still shining, which he finds himself wanting to protect with unexpected resolve. How Sakamoto seems untouched by all the mess surrounding them is a mystery. Not as able with the sword as Takasugi, Zura or him, the man's main ability is with his words and convincing power. There is something about the way he speaks and the general confidence he portrays that he finds attracting, like a web he doesn't realize he is trapped in until after it is too late to escape. Sakamoto's success is a surprise for him, a hero of the recent legends.

 

They serve each other one last drink for the night. Sakamoto is contemplative.

 

“This winter is without doubt rough, a snail was faster than me today! Let's not even talk about my outer sword – I can't even feel my inner sword out there! Hahaha!”

 

“Tatsuma, your inner sword cannot be frozen even if we cut it and place it in the freezer. When was the last time you went to a red district, you bastard? Two days ago?”

 

“Eh, two days ago? Kintoki, you must be losing your memories! There is no way we went just two days ago. I would have remembered that.” Sakamoto raises an eyebrow in genuine concern, the blue of the ocean piercing through silver essence.

 

“Eh?! Are you calling me an old man? Is it because of the color of my hair?” Gintoki shouts exasperated, pointing at the soldier sitting next to him. His voice may be loud, but it gets lost amongst the voices of their surrounding crowd, “The one forgetting everything is you, Tatsuma. When are you going to remember my name, ah? It is not Kintoki; it is Gintoki, damn it! Say it well!”

 

Sakamoto laughs, more energetic than ever that night, and Gintoki loses all his will to reprehend him. It may be a consequence of alcohol, or the weird and fluttering sensation emerging from his chest, but the man known as the White Demon cannot be mad at his friend for a long time.

 

The two men spend the hours talking and joking about themselves and about their friends. They do not dare talk about dreams or the future, for it is too soon to dream about that. Soldiers need to think about the present. They must be optimistic, of course; though the best way to be effective in the middle of the warzone is to focus in what is in front of their own eyes, and in the possibility of sharing a cup of sake with their comrades just for another night. Taking the war one day at a time, they can secure a future.

 

Before they realize how late it is, there is no one surrounding them anymore. The conversation traps them in such a way that their voices become quieter and yet still remain the strongest in the room; their bodies are closer than how they were two hours ago. Maybe it is a good idea to be obedient and go to sleep, even if it is not exactly like how Zura ordered them to. Gintoki makes an effort to stand up and not fall.

 

“Oi, Tatsuma, give me a hand, will you?” He extends his arm towards his friend. Sakamoto catches him and the flutter in Gintoki’s chest becomes stronger. They walk together, slowly, careful to not make a lot of noise to wake up their comrades. The silence as both advance, the scent of alcohol and the lazy steps do not help as there is an invisible tension surrounding them. Most spaces are almost full and their muscles can’t help but feel tired, so they decide to sit together in a somewhat separated corner. Their counted heat sources do not reach them well, but perhaps with their own clothes they will do just fine. They have been through worse.

 

They cover themselves well with their haori, arm glued to the other arm. Gintoki can barely think as he is inebriated by sleep, alcohol, and something else.

 

“This party was a lot of fun, Kintoki. But next time, I want everyone to celebrate with us. We can’t afford to keep losing our friends.” The man says softly, his voice filled with regret.

 

Gintoki is about to reply, when he is interrupted by his friend.

 

“Hahaha, but the best moment was to see Takasugi fainting. I can’t believe how competitive he can get with you sometimes,” Sakamoto sighs, “at least Zura made sure he was okay.”

 

“Those guys will be okay, Tatsuma. They have an incredible strength. No matter how delicate Zura looks or how stubborn and stupid Takasugi can get sometimes. I trust them the most.”

 

There’s a pause, and Sakamoto interrupts the silence with a frail whisper. “I would not be able to bear it if anything happened to you, or any other one of our comrades.”

 

Sakamoto’s eyes are painted with a strange shadow and Gintoki’s heart tightens. Perhaps the sad picture is why his mouth moves faster than his brain.

 

“I will protect your will. You belong to us – to me. As long as you are next to me, you will be alright. Our comrades, too.” Gintoki hurries and Sakamoto just stares directly at him, mouth shut and eyes filled with surprise.

 

It is then when Gintoki realizes the weirdness in his words, his cheeks redder than before. He didn’t notice the weight of his words, or the intensity of the emotions in his eyes, or his hand holding Tatsuma’s wrist. He can’t breathe, lost in the brightness of his partner’s gaze; his skin against the other, burning.

 

He must be really drunk, unable to find the limits where ‘Gintoki’ ends and where ‘Tatsuma’ starts.

 

Gintoki opens his mouth to say anything, but Sakamoto places his hand on Gintoki’s cheek and, in a moment, Sakamoto’s mouth is in Gintoki’s ear, asking quietly: “Are you serious, Gintoki?”

 

The utterance of his name, said correctly, freezes his body. Dubious fingers only manage to touch the warm texture of the taller man’s clothes. “Listen, I…”

 

He doesn’t say more, as his mouth is claimed by Sakamoto’s lips. The kiss is tender, despite the scent of alcohol. Gintoki answers to the movements with his own hunger, both men giving their all in a touch certainly longed for.

 

Gasping for air, Tatsuma places himself on top of his partner and starts taking off his upper clothes. “My body should be warmer than these attires.”

 

“Hey… If you think this is like your casual visits to the red districts, I’ll kill you.” Gintoki means it, pulling backwards and letting loose of some of his clothes. Gintoki’s chest is toned, skin soft to Tatsuma’s touch in certain areas. The others are defined by different types of scars. Tatsuma stares at the topography, fascinated.

 

Sakamoto laughs tenderly. He embraces Gintoki and his face feels his comrade’s neck, before their shadows become one for the rest of the night.


	2. About solitude and the scars between us

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy. Comment. Share.   
> If you read this, I love you.  
> Thank you for keeping up with this!!

He has prepared his mind for a moment like this. An event in the middle of the endless war where he could not come back to the older days. Being honest with himself, he crossed that point a long time ago, when he decided to enter the movement to expel the Amanto from the country.

 

In a difficult struggle between men and creatures from other worlds, Sakamoto dances without rest. Other soldiers describe his way of fighting like the leaping of a frog – a frog with a very loud voice and the inability to stay still in a single place for more than an instant.

 

Between the dirt and polluted air, the struggle settles and there's silence: the perfect opportunity to leave and take as much as you can with you. To recover what's precious before the wind of death comes and claims more souls. The men who end up with the best condition take other men who are not so lucky with their strong arms. Given Sakamoto's instructions, not only allies are taken. Soldiers who were under opposite control are protected under an invisible wing as well, thanks to the kindness of a certain general.

 

Sakamoto himself takes a soldier who struggles with his legs, begging for some rest. If they make it to the camp, everyone will be able to drink and celebrate another day of breathing. The general smiles at the sole thought. Are his other comrades protected by random luck today?

 

Will he see Gintoki's face again tonight?

 

“Did you think you would be able to escape from my army so easily?” A cold, foreign voice interrupts his thoughts. When Sakamoto turns around to check on the soldier he is holding, the entire face of said man is tainted red, a never ending river across the neck, chest and making a pool on the uneven ground.

 

The man's skull is perforated by a brilliant sword, light emanating with powerful energy. Not a sword born on Earth, but outside of it.

 

His comrades yell at him, beg him to react. His muscles remain still in front of the unnamed presence menacing his back. His body doesn't yet respond, but give him enough strength to send out a single instruction:

 

“Escape! I can take care of myself!” He exclaims as an unexpected impulse fills his veins and makes his limbs move, enough to run and escape from another cutting intention from the enemy's weapon. It separates the ground he was positioned on seconds earlier.

 

One young man returns to get him, but the Amanto is faster and goes quickly to claim his life. By instinct, Tatsuma's legs run to protect the boy, because he won't allow another friend to die in front of his eyes. He surrounds him with his arm, pulling him to the side and places, without thinking, a sword gripped by the opposite hand between the enemy and them.

 

The sword is more powerful than he expected. It just doesn't stop. It pierces through flesh, nerves, veins and important tendons. The explosion of blood leaving his arm makes it unable to feel, warmth leaving the place almost in horror from the shock. The sword he used to grip, broken now in half, falls due to his lack of strength.

 

But the young man is still alive. And the enemy's will to kill has faded. His cold voice will remain in Sakamoto's mind for the following months, even years.

 

“This battle is over. I have taken your life as a swordsman, so there is no use for you anymore. There is no joy in winning this battle.” Batou says before disappearing.

Sakamoto can barely hear these words, because they are too far away. He almost does not feel the young man next to him, scared, for his body is in alert and trembling. He falls to the ground, embraced by his comrade, and the world turns black.

 

When he regains consciousness, he is on a stretcher. Two men carry him to the nursery, while all his comrades from that group are running alongside, worried. His breathing is hard, as his body is still not recovered from the shock.

 

Not much after, Takasugi and Gintoki find the group of men. For some strange reason, it is Takasugi and not Gintoki the one who runs first towards them. There is a feeling of alarm in the way he moves, an urgency injected in his green eyes; transformed into pain the moment they connect to horizontal, tired ones. He knows the meaning of that stare, the prohibitions for the future of a samurai named Sakamoto Tatsuma.

 

“It looks they beat you pretty bad,” Shinsuke comments with a forced smile.   
  
“True. Heh, it seems I am not a good samurai after all,” The man looked downwards, focusing on the blood still bright on his skin.

 

Takasugi knows him pretty well, he can already tell the kind of story behind such a horrible wound. He is aware of Sakamoto's lack of instinct for self-preservation when something he thinks is precious is in danger. Such a reason is why his fist clutches in unspoken anger and why he laments this outcome the most. The man was just doing what a real samurai is supposed to do, according to their master: to wander and to protect what is important. Sakamoto was not a part of their school, but embraced the fighting spirit on his own manner and because of it, Takasugi respects him.

 

“You are right. A good samurai would never get himself hurt like this. Only a rookie would not know where to leave a fight. You deserve it.”

 

But actually Sakamoto doesn't deserve this. He is just too good for the war. He is the one supporting it, the one smiling and laughing for the rest of them, the one who knows how to forget in the middle of the storm. If this is the way the deities are making them know he is too good for this, then it is such a shitty way to show them.

 

The samurai known as Sakamoto Tatsuma is dead.

 

“Sakamoto Tatsuma is not dead,” a voice behind him interrupts, full of energy. Tatsuma's heart beats harder. “His war is not over. There are still ways he can fight. It is okay.”

 

“Leave the petty fights to us, and just do what you can.” Takasugi and Shiroyasha speak in unison.

 

“Who did this to you? We'll search for him.” Both warriors leave the scene in search of the culprit.

 

And it is settled. Sakamoto has to focus on his rebirth and recovery. The others would keep fighting in his place, protecting what he leaves behind on the battlefield.

 

He stares at the ceiling of the infirmary room, trying to connect the dots of what happened and of what is next for him. They tell him the wound would take at least a couple of weeks to be in a decent condition and that he must rest, the opposite of what he loves doing.

 

He has never been as good as his three best friends in the campaign but, even if he is not a good samurai, he is an optimist. When his recovery ends, maybe the war will finish. Maybe he can start an enterprise and become a good merchant.

 

Maybe he can start a life with Gintoki by his side and have a business together. Instead of having to beg for time and stay side by side some nights, they could have the liberty of cuddling every moment the Moon is above them in the sky. They could congratulate each other after a good day, play with curly hair and drink until they start whispering rare stuff on their ears, adorned with the scent of alcohol and the sweetness of nothing but warm feelings.

 

It is lonely in this place and Gintoki is busier with each passing day. His recovery doesn't last just two weeks, instead this period turning into a whole month thanks to an stupid reaction to a chemical component applied to his transforming scar. It is difficult to focus on the same dots, looking at him from the ceiling, asking: “What is this for?”

 

So when Gintoki, Takasugi and Zura are allowed to bring some sake to the room he stays at, Sakamoto smiles, but not as hard; he laughs, but not as loud. He only knows how to love. He knows how to wait patiently for his friends to arrive. He has learned how to pray everyday so they get home at night. He treasures the little moment that Gintoki can smile at him, touch his hand, and the look on his eyes when he is not Shiroyasha anymore and only a man who promised to protect him with all he has.

 

Why is it, then, that he feels so sad? Why does he feel like he is being strangled against the advancing clock, as if everything is about to be transformed?

 

“Hey, Sakamoto. Sakamoto!” Zura's voice wakes him up from his contemplative state.   
  
“What is it, Zura? Are you guys not enjoying the booze anymore? You brought it, didn't you?”

 

“It is not Zura, it is Katsura! And that's what I should ask you. What's wrong with you lately?”

 

“It is nothing, it is nothing! I was thinking this is alright, but it would be nice to have more company! Don't you think the others that are wounded would love some too?” His hand moves, denying facts and setting up masks. The party must go on. He knows Katsura is not convinced, he is too intelligent and perceptive. But a hand is placed on Katsura's shoulder and he lets the subject go, because maybe he is pressing too hard. Nonetheless, the worry is still there.

 

One shared bottle is empty now, and Takasugi and Zura announce their leave. Gintoki stays.

 

“I am going to stay with Tatsuma and make sure the sake doesn't do anything weird, you can go on.” Gintoki mentions, almost as a subtle order, and their friends retire. They know what he really wants to talk about.

 

There is silence, sometimes interrupted by nervous laughter. Gintoki places his hand on Tatsuma's.

 

“I know it is difficult, but you need to be strong and bear it, Tatsuma,” the young man wearing white clothes says quietly, “you will be able to fight again and support us. But if you let your spirit go like this, your recovery will take longer.”

 

Sakamoto sends him a warm smile. The only honest one he has shared during all the evening.

 

“Hahaha, don't worry, Kintoki! I know that. It is just that it is boring to stay here and not do a lot. You guys must be doing your best out there! I have heard comments about you becoming famous and feared, no matter if in the bed you are nothing more dangerous than a small dog.”

“Who is a small dog?! Also, my name is Gintoki, get is right once and for all,” Gintoki covers his forehead dramatically with his opposite hand, sighing.

 

“By the way, I found him.”

 

“Found him? Found who?”

 

“The man who did this to you. We promised right? I promised I would protect you, even if that means ending the battle you left unfinished back then.”

 

Sakamoto is mute upon the inability to know what to answer.

 

“But I couldn't get the guy. It turns out he is better than I expected; escaped when I thought I had him for sure.” Gintoki bites his lower lips, looking at the ground. Tatsuma makes him look directly at him, placing a hand above Gintoki's chin. Then he kisses his cheek.

 

“After all this time? I had already forgotten about him! You shouldn't have bothered, seriously.”

 

Gintoki's protection warms him and he thinks that, even if his arm cannot hold a sword anymore, he wants to give his best to guard Gintoki and the others in whatever way he is allowed to.

 

“Tatsuma,” the only man sitting now turns serious, “Zura, Takasugi and I are going on an special mission tomorrow. But we will come back sooner than you think, so you must do your best to recover.”

 

Gintoki stands up and smiles with confidence.

 

“Don't just take it easy because we are leaving the camp and think you can be lazy, oi, or Gin-san will have to make more work than he is willing to anymore.”

 

Gintoki leaves, with a confused man behind his back. He never tells him when he has something to do, why would he do it now?


	3. About the future and our fears

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you are still reading this, thank you so much... you are incredible!!
> 
> I hope you have an amazing day, seriously.  
> Anyway, this is not how the fic ends. There is an epilogue left (chapter 4.) which I will post later for sure.
> 
> Yoroshiku onegaishimasu.

Gintoki didn't return after that day. Neither did Zura and Sakamoto. 

There are rumors about them losing their lives as samurai -quite similar to what happened to him, except he doesn't know what happened exactly-, about one of them dying, about them being cowards. Too many truths around him and so little time to lose. He has to find those guys quickly, or his fingers won't stop trembling. 

Tatsuma takes a month and a half to be in perfect condition for traveling and, as soon as he is ready, gathers money and supplies and goes in the adventure of searching for his comrades. He needs to see them, to let them know he is well now. He wants to express his gratitude towards them for their endless support, for the nights with alcohol and the nights without laughing when they would try to cheer him up. 

He wants to tell Gintoki about his new dream. For endless moons he stayed and stared at the ceiling, wondering the meaning behind his injury and, at the end, decided it is useless to look for a deep meaning and just do what he does best: being a merchant. 

Just like he supported a pointless war, he wants to use whatever it is in his power to create a future where war is no needed. A universe where both Amanto and earthlings can do just exchanges, receiving something positive. Instead of resisting an Era that will come inevitably, to take advantage of said change and open the barriers of this world to expand it. He would join with a group of people with the same mentality and go forward towards what is in front of their eyes. 

Sakamoto asks in several houses and establishments secretly known as old Joui allies; places where they had stayed in the past. He wanders through rivers and mountains, red light districts and small towns. His body dances on both sea and ground until it is too tired to even move. 

One day, arrives at a bar by request of the owner. The man had known about a wandering samurai trying to get information about the teenagers that once where three of the Four Heavenly Kings of the Joui war. 

“You are the guy who wants information about the Shiroyasha and his two comrades?” A man on his forties with a big complexion asks him. 

“Yes. I was a comrade of them, but had to stay at camp because of some injuries. I was wondering where they went; I was sure they would come back, but it seems something serious happened. What do you know?” 

“This is on the house,” The man serves a cup of sake to him and sits next to him. It is not a busy time of the day, so the owner can take some liberties. He man smiles. “Sakamoto Tatsuma.”

Tatsuma is not surprised the man identifies him, but is surprised about the honesty. 

“I heard they were arrested by a weird group of assassins two weeks ago. It was near the sea. What I know is that, not long after that, there was some important execution performed by this group. They were there and managed to escape.”

“They escaped? If that happened not a long time ago, maybe I can find them? What do you think, old man?” 

“That must be right. I thought they had died at that time. I was quite the fan of you guys, but it seems the government is too deep in Amanto business now. It is quite the sad story for all of us.”  
“Hahahaha, what a pessimistic view! You must have some trust in them if you wanted to see me. When will you tell me what you really wish to tell me?”

“Okay, here it goes: I thought they had been goners for sure. That, until an old friend of mine was talking with his brother. They were commenting on the most recent news from the other prefectures.“ The owner takes a drink and exhales, placing his cup on a wooden surface. 

“The thing is, they eventually talked about the Shiroyasha,” Tatsuma's heart runs once again. “it seems people have witnessed someone that matches his physical traits on a town in direction to Edo.”

“I see. Thank you, you have helped me a lot. I really appreciate it.” 

The man places a firm hand on his shoulder.

“It is alright. We always appreciated your efforts for the war, even if you are too young to be in this kind of situation. I am sad to say I have no idea of where Katsura or Takasugi are right now, but perhaps if you reach the Shiroyasha first, you might be able to know it.”

Sakamoto stands up, ready to leave the store and stops just before crossing the door. 

“Thank you. I won't forget this, as I am now in your debt.”

The man looks at the almost empty cup with a smile on his face. “No problem. When you find your friends, please come back here so we can have a drink together.” 

Tatsuma plans his trips to Edo. It is not an easy task to search for a single man in the several villages along said road, but he looks at the stars. Thanks to his father being a merchant, he knows how to look for directions according to the configuration of the sky. His family always uses a great amount of ships to give their services to the rest of the country from the Tosa region. Maybe because of his own genetics, he loves to stare at the sky, particularly at how the stars are settled. Maybe his family is the reason why he adores ships so much. 

In his travel, he learns new things: That Gintoki's codename, Shiroyasha, is greatly feared amongst several communities; that the group of assassins were searching for a particular man, and that this man had been arrested for years until he was executed. He also learns this man might have relation to his three lost friends. Also, thanks to his conversation inside the bar, he knows his friends just decided to take different paths after they escaped from their captivity. 

Finally, at an old ryokan, he find him. It is totally unexpected but long awaited, and the way Gintoki looks at him tells him he is surprised as well. 

Tatsuma does not waste time and flies in his direction, long limbs surrounding Gintoki's body like if he was a precious jewel. 

Gintoki is not the same person he said goodbye to back at the infirmary tent. His arms seems longer, due to a weird lack of muscular mass. His bones and veins are more noticeable, and Tatsuma wonders what kind of diet his partner has been following in the recent weeks. 

The way he looks at Tatsuma lacks spark, lacks energy. There is no passion in them anymore and Gintoki's face seems ten years older. His skin is dry and pale and feels strange to the touch of his warm hands.  
“K-Kintoki! I am so glad to find you, I missed you so much!”

Soon, Gintoki returns from his mysterious personality to a one he remembered more. It is as if Sakamoto had awaken the Gintoki that said goodbye to him in the past. Perhaps Gintoki remembers the promise he has not been able to fulfill. 

“What have I told you!” The shorter man yells at him, like he would do in normal circumstances. “My name is not 'Kintoki'! Do you really that this show would not be broad-casted at the kid's schedule if I had such a horrible name?! The name's Gintoki, oi!” 

Tatsuma takes both of his hands and looks at him with stars in his eyes. 

“Hey, can we stay together? I have searched for you so long!” 

Gintoki brushes his own hair, cheeks pink. “Yeah, why not? But you will have to pay costs for both of us. I was working to pay my stay in here, but I am already tired. It is such a pain, you know?”

If the owner of the bar looked at the 'Shiroyasha', would he be surprised? Probably yes. 

The both enter their room. It is a little space with Tatami floor, of about eight squared meters of area. Two futons are spread above the tatami, next to each other, and yet separated. Tatsuma has a better idea. 

As soon as the door closes, Tatsuma carries Gintoki with both arms despite his surprised protests. He attracts one futon to the other with his foot, and places his comrade on top of both futons with a lot of care. Like handling a delicate flower, with the difference that this flower seems confused. 

He smashes his lips against Gintoki's mouth, playfully kissing him. He has both of the man's wrists trapped thanks to Tatsuma's hands holding them down. He missed his comrade that is more-than-a-comrade to him like he could miss sake if he spent two days without drinking it. Life is just not as beautiful without his Gintoki by his side. All the time of waiting has made him feel hunger and unbearable longing. 

Gintoki tries to breath, and separates a little. Reddish tones over his otherwise pale skin, the man exhales and inhales with work, his forehead connected to Tatsuma's forehead. 

“Forgive me, Tatsuma. I left you by yourself.” The man laments.

“It is okay,” Sakamoto whispers, smiling softly. “The fact that you are here is more than enough for me.”

He wants to ask a lot of question. He wishes to know what happened between him and Takasugi and Zura. Tatsuma wishes a lot he could understand why they suddenly left the war. Is it related to the man who was imprisoned? 

They dedicate two hours to their love, warmth combining. He would have time later to ask questions. Right now, his senses try to capture the smell and the taste of Gintoki's body. He would kiss his neck and chest, caress his hair, whisper all the words he could not say months ago and hid inside of him to remain a mystery.

They relax side by side, both chests going up and down with intensity after the hard exertion. Tatsuma looks at Gintoki and brushes aside the curly silver filaments, which go back to their original form once he leaves them alone. Tatsuma stares at the ceiling and connects the dots with a wide smile upon his face. 

“Gintoki, come with me a little, okay? Let's go to the roof.”

Gintoki follows him and both climb the small building, walking on the tiles of the roof and sitting down afterwards. 

Sakamoto looks at the sky and wonders if the fantasies he had in the past can still become true. “Everything will be alright,” the voice inside his conscience tells him.

“Gintoki, I want to tell you something. I have decided how I will fight from now on.”

“Ah? You know? How is that?”

Sakamoto does not look at Gintoki, instead looking at an invisible space where their future is placed in. 

“I'll go up there. We cannot change the times that are coming, so we have to go to the Amanto and have a good relationship with them. So I'm going up there and I will start a business that makes the best of both worlds.”

Gintoki doesn't answer to that, so Sakamoto feels he can go forward.

“But I can do it alone. Having a crew can take a great effort. But it will be worth it,” Silence. “What do you say, Gintoki?? You are too good for just staying in this world. Come with me and we can start a new adventure together.”

Gintoki does not answer. 

“Gintoki?” Sakamoto turns around to see his partner.

Gintoki is sleeping, and Tatsuma wants to get shot on the face. 

“Hahahaha! Heavens, please! Punish this guy!” 

Days later, he is ready to go. He insists one more time for Gintoki to go with him, but it is useless. Sakamoto is sad, but resigned to it. 

“What will you do from now on?” Tatsuma wonders.

“I am not sure. I have my fights to do here. But maybe I will catch one falling star or two and then send them back to space.” 

Tatsuma smiles and does not allow himself to kiss Gintoki once more, instead planning ahead of time his next visit to Earth. Gintoki will always be there to catch him and then send him back amongst the stars, and it is such reason why Sakamoto Tatsuma allows himself to go without remorse. 

His partner would always wait for him and make sure he could have a home to return back to, so he leaves with a smile on his face.


	4. On the relativity of time and the absolute strength of our hands

There is a blue circle at the distance, almost the size of the palm of a hand. He can almost grab it, treasure it like a rare diamond. How long has it been since he left the Earth?

 

Maybe ten years. During the war, the present was nothing more than a silly man's dream. He remembers when he was young and left his comrades with only a few possessions on his bag and a single dream to follow: A reality where the little world, hanging on infinite kilometers from the tip of his fingers, and the outer world would mesh and collaborate together.

 

Now, a very important businessman, Sakamoto is busier than ever in this lonely voyage he set for himself more than ten years in the past. How would his friends be at the moment? How would that man be right now? The last time he talked with him in person, his dearest companion was under what would be considered a healthy body weight and his skin was as pale as snow.

 

Since said day, he grew more worried about him but he could not come back. He has promised that person he would become important and fight on his own way. Such is the reason why his float has not stopped near the Earth in a decade.

 

But today is different, as his company is strong enough and has settled enough deals to show off to his former comrades.

 

After leaving his blue orb, he wandered anonymously on foreign ships, until he got into a pirate enterprise. There he met his actual vice-captain, his loyal second hand. He also managed to buy all the slaves from said pirate float and those slaves became his new comrades.

 

It is so funny how he meets Gintoki again, because he doesn't even have to go to Earth and search for him across the country. It is a fateful encounter in the most stupid and random of ways. First, his head inside of the enormous mouth of a strange creature. Then, the former White Demon himself pulls him by the hair because the tourist float in which they encounter each other is about to fall to oblivion.

 

And what is funnier: Gintoki's new partners in crime are just kids. Maybe that guy doesn't want to grow up at all? Maybe he wants to revive his teenage years, and place his dreams upon those children because he wasn't able to fulfill them?

 

The funniest thing is how Sakamoto is able to recognize Gintoki by seeing him for mere seconds and after ten years of not seeing each other. Perhaps it is true that souls can connect in the strangest ways.

 

In such a ridiculous way, bonds between old partners do not die easily, as Sakamoto is entirely confident that Gintoki will save him if he is in danger. And lo and behold, when Sakamoto lets himself be captured by a giant creature resembling a squid, he does it still smiling because of two reasons: He is able to save his entire float, and the moment Sakamoto is in danger Gintoki dives into a sea of hot sand to give him his hand and take him away from the perhaps attractive melody of death.

 

It is quite cute how Gintoki seems to bond with the kids, like if he had a younger brother and a little daughter. Their names, he learns, are Shinpachi and Kagura. An earthling and an Amanto.

 

If this happened to be an animated story, Sakamoto would not appear again in two hundred chapters. Thankfully, the next moment he finds them is only one chapter apart; he finds Gintoki at a hostess bar, not drinking more than a little thanks to the passive-aggressive courtesy of Shinpachi's older sister.

He is more drunk than Gintoki for sure, both comrades going back to an apartment located in that same district named Kabuki. It turns out Gintoki lives now in the capital, leaving behind his past as a war hero and embracing the Amanto life instead. Despite the forbidding laws, he still wears a sword. One made of wood.

 

Tatsuma stays the night, sleeping on a sofa because his levels of alcohol are high enough for the man to pass out just by touching the soft futon. Four hours of sleep and two pills for the headache after, the merchant wonders if the fight in front of him is just a common occurrence. Kagura and Gintoki fight over how much the little girl is eating because food doesn't just arrive in great quantities to the Sakata residence.

 

“I can eat what I want, I am the one who gives the power and charm to this place, huh?” The girl shouts in Gintoki's ear.

 

“Ah, what is that? Do you really think you are charming, brat? Not even in your dreams!” The man wants to pull out his silver hair -which would be horrible, Sakamoto thinks.- “We have been eating egg and rice for an entire month. Either work harder or Gin-san will not be able to support this place anymore.”

 

“Money falls from trees, but this is one sad tree, huh? Maybe if you gave the tree all the strawberry milk you drink, I could have the life I finally deserve! What kind of old man still drinks strawberry milk anyway?”

 

“Who are you calling an old man, Kagura? At least I am not an entire waste of writer's talent! If the writer of this thing had any redeeming qualities, that is.” He turns to glare at Sakamoto, who just grins completely amused at the scene. “We are not old men, right Tatsuma? We are just in the middle of our development! A man needs milk to grow up and find One Park one day!”

 

“Hahahaha, how amusing!” Sakamoto looks at the girl wearing foreign ornaments on her hair. “But say, rice and egg is not that bad, is it?”

 

He contemplates his empty plate, because these guys have been discussing for an entire hour and forgot to serve him. Nonetheless, he grins and looks at it with a melancholic shade on his blue eyes.

 

“I remember a good time when we needed to beg for food, and rice and egg was a gift from the gods. Even with my help, we had times like those. Do you remember, Kintoki? So right now we can share this meal together, even if you bastards completely forgot about me when rationing the rice, ahahaha!”  
  
Gintoki sighs. “Oi, you idiot. The name's Gintoki. It is useless, right? No matter if I gave you a good portion of food, you would still be such an inconsiderate asshole, right? This is sad Kagura, no matter how much you work to get us this insipid meal, he will still be disrespectful to this house.”

 

Gintoki's words seem to be emotionless, the pitch even and without changes. His eyes have the same boring spirit than that last time at the end of the war, and the man doesn't even pretend to have motivation anymore; he just picks his nose, trying to search for a pirate's treasure in a cavity of dirt.

 

Sakamoto wonders if he even remembers how their relationship used to be like back in the war. Alas a long time has passed and the captain of the Kaientai cannot really complain. Still, the man hopes for it in a very small corner of his heart.

 

At night Gintoki reads JUMP, Shinpachi leaves home after a tiring day of doing chores and Kagura and Tatsuma -still there- are discussing about money. Gintoki doesn't pay them attention in the moments they are not being annoying to him, which means he has been listening to the whole conversation even if he does not want to.

 

“Tatsuma, why are you still here? It is weird that Mutsu has not found you yet.”

 

“It is okay, Kintoki! My company can live without me for a few days. Also, the thought of Mutsu finding me is scary.”

 

Gintoki does not reply to that, because he may be right.

 

“Sakamoto,” Kagura starts acting like a gangster, walking close to Tatsuma with crossed arms. “You own us around 500 packs of sukonbu for staying last night! Do not try to play dumb, huh, because my subordinate here knows how to deal with guys like you! We will burn your ship down, hohoho!”

 

The poor man can only manage to raise both arms in surrender at the sight of an umbrella pointing at him.

 

“Wait, wait, young lady! Don't be so hasty. See, I left my wallet in the Kaientai's ship, actually! But I can pay your subordinate in other ways so he doesn't hit me!”

 

“Oi, Tatsuma. Don't tell her weird things. Don't you see her head is already in violent mode? You will have to comply to her requests or she will kick you out.”

 

In that moment, Tatsuma's cellphone rings. The man trembles a little, before picking up the call.

 

“Ah, Mutsu! Just in time. I need you to talk with someone for a little bit! Oh, no, don't worry. My balls are still in the same spot, hahaha!” Kagura takes the phone, still in gangster mode.

 

“Oi, you bastarrrds! You need to give me 1000 packs of sukonbu or your captain will die, damn it! I want them before midnight, huh, or I will feed the local zoo with his brain.”

 

“Kagura, do you want the zoo to sue us? If we feed the animals with his brain, their brains will rot and then they will turn into zombies.” Kagura had already ended the call.

 

“Zombies? That is so cool! I hope Mutsu comes late with my food, then.”

 

“Hahaha, Kagura-chan, I'm still here you know?”

 

“Shut up, you are just the start of my own zombie apocalypse now!”

 

“Can I cry? Before you kill me, it must be good if I just leave on my own.” Tatsuma looks at Gintoki. “Hey, Kintoki, do you mind to go with me to the port? A walk would be nice.”

 

Both men walk outside the Yorozuya building towards the port, where Tatsuma's ship would surely wait for him. Tatsuma walks looking upwards, staring at a sky that cannot be seen in its entire beauty from Edo, while Gintoki looks forwards to an invisible point in space. The silence between both men is the most peaceful moment they had in the entire day.

 

His eyes hide behind dark shades, but then they diverge towards the man next to him and the time stops. He looks at his hand, next to the other, feeling powerless. Despite the energy in that close distance, he cannot find the power to break the barrier built after several years of living in separate worlds.

 

“They are good kids. I am actually surprised, Kintoki.” He does not meet his eyes when Gintoki turns to face him. “It seems you have a good life here in Earth. I, too, have a successful life up in space. I am able to fight on my own now.”

 

_Thanks to you._

 

“Why are you being so melancholic? Your place is there, after all. You chose it, right?”

 

They arrive at the port, where the whole Kaientai crew is happy to see their captain is alright and safe. Mutsu is not as expressive, but she knows how much Tatsuma loves Earth and the people in it.

 

Gintoki smiles at the sight. “See? They are waiting for you.”

 

Tatsuma advances one, two steps and then stops. He inhales deep twice and turns around to face the man he just cannot place a label on anymore. Gintoki and his thoughts about him are too complex for his brain but too simple for his heart.

 

_I do not know what happened to you, Zura and Takasugi back in the war; but from the look of space, all problems in Earth are not so big. Would you let me show you someday?_

 

“You are still invited to come with me. Bring Shinpachi and Kagura with you. Even if it is just for a couple of days.”

 

“I still have to take care of shit here, Tatsuma.”

 

The pause between them turns cold, but Gintoki looks to the side and brushes his silver hair with his hand and speaks again.

 

“But I will tell Kagura and Shinpachi about it.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Phew! Okay this SakaGin is finally complete!
> 
> I hope some of you like this. Have a nice week.
> 
> I'm far from the best SakaGin writer, but comments would be nice and well received!


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